I've had numerous conversations with moms about self discipline/perseverance and it seems to be a hot topic! I've wondered how it is formed optimally in a human being ....
- is it through someone creating discipline FOR the child (hoping it will transform some day into SELF discipline) ...
- is it the child exploring the world freely and completely choosing themselves when and how to "be disciplined" to achieve her goals....
- is it the child exploring the world freely while people around the child joyfully demonstrate self-discipline in their daily routines, learning new things, choosing to take things step-by-step to reach their goals, demonstrating to the child what passion-led learning looks like?
The first idea is forced and not based in passion or joy. It is not about the child learning how to self control, it's about the child being controlled by others who claim to know better, like in school or other institutions, and once we're out of those institutions, many of us have a difficult time making clear, joy-based decisions for ourselves, creating our own joyful personal routines based in the things we truly love, expressing ourselves in our soul's highest. The first example would reply: "forget about that - let's get SERIOUS about life and all its 'harsh realities' and 'un-fun-ness' and do what 'HAS' to be done, follow social norms/settle for a mediocre job/suck it up and do required icky 'duties'" So going about it from the angle of this first example may lead to a child who is successful for the system, but who does not feel very free or passion-led.
The second option seems to be a child floating around freely without much in the way of guidance... she is exploring, wondering, observing, pursuing things she enjoys to some degree, but may not have much to launch off of towards her goals. She may not totally have a sense of how to move from a place of random exploration to really focusing in on learning step-by-step how to achieve something she's passionate about. She may be avoidant of things that are challenging and requiring patience because she does not know what self-discipline looks like and what its joyful benefits are.
The third idea - having a free environment in which to "SelfDesign" combined with being surrounded by adults who are demonstrating themselves joyful life learning and exercising self-chosen discipline to achieve their desires -- now this feels like it could lead to a young one who would find optimal methods to good-feeling, joy-based self-discipline and success.
So what is so fascinating about this is how everything always comes back to us and how we are in the world. When we are on our optimal path, pursuing our dreams, shining our light brightly, we are like light houses for passion and perseverance! We are creating loveliness for others to see and say "That person sure looks like they are feeling good... and their feeling goodness is helping others see their own goodness.... hey, I can feel that way too! And be of service to others at the same time! All I have to do is follow my dreams with all my heart!" And then they go on to choose the necessary discipline action. Ah ha! Greater Good is created!
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