Kids seem to be little 'truth barometers' -- really knowing when adults are speaking from their heart.
Every time I open my mouth and something comes out that isn't "truth" speaking, I can see my son's response -- his body language, his gaze, his eyes, his energy -- and in this response, the message/vibration it is reflected straight back at me. Like a sonar, those shades and tones, make very apparent any untruth embedded in my message.
This reflection that he offers enables me to observe myself -- to check-in with my heart and make adjustments to my vibe/message so it's cleaner and truer. I thank him every day for this as it fully supports me in my evolution and understanding of what my truth is.
Something really fascinating is that my son has been asking me to read him the bible and spiritual books lately. He is fascinated with spirituality and spiritual figures and wants to devote quite a chunk of time to this every day (again - wonderful for me to learn this discipline from him).
What is powerful about this is how exploring spirituality together has provided me with much deeper insight regarding discernment when it comes to the information I am receiving from outside sources. Normally, I read a spiritual book and take it in, not always doing a full check-in with my inner knowing as to whether it is really resonating with me fully through and through. When I read it to my son, it amps up my inner barometer to a much higher level. The level of resonance is truly palpable as I glance over the words and before it even leaves my lips, and I often "translate" sections to what feels truest and highest, or skip it all together and find another section or book that feels higher.
He responds with such amazement and has the most jaw-dropping revelations/understandings/conclusions to share when it has its highest resonance with me. We end up in amazing conversations together because of the frequency of these truths vibrating through us.
It's wonderful to have our little barometers. What amazing gifts to cherish.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Learning and the Community
As our children spiral outward into the world, they will understand how unique their learning lives are from the majority. If we have trusted them implicitly and if we haven't disempowered them, they will feel confident and assured in their different-from-the-norm "educational" upbringing. They will feel secure in knowing that they were gifted with freedom, empowerment and trust and that gift has nourrished their soul and creative genius.
Entering the world with unwavering trust in themselves as learners, they will be confident in all of their chosen endeavours. They will understand that they are fully capable, powerful human beings. That unwavering trust within the child has been brought forth from the trust given to them by their parents and by supportive mentors and community.
If those around children trust in all the unique faces of learning and exalt the unique expressions of the individual, we will move forward -- beyond a place of critical judgement, of timelines, prototype human beings, of haste and racing towards something that isn't serving us.
For us to reach a place of loving acceptance in our families and in our communities, the children need to know that those most important in her life have complete faith in her and in all her learning "faces". She needs to know that she is serving the community through her unique expressions.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Trusting Children in their Learning
Trusting that a child will develop into a capable, creative and empowered human being can be challenging. Without realizing it, we can hang on to hidden ideals, expectations and beliefs that have been passed down and hardened over many generations. Surrounding learning and education, these beliefs tend to be very narrow in nature: we think "this happens, then this, next is this and it must look like this...."
We have assumptions about what things should be learned at what age and in what order. We may feel strongly about "helping along" when we think a certain thing should be happening when it isn't. If we are working with blinders on, viewing our child with institutional eyes and pushing the same standards and ideals that were pushed on us.
From the institutional standards perspective, we tend to try to interfere more, perhaps moving the child in a certain direction or to do something in a certain way before she is ready and in a way that is not optimal for this child. We must become aware that the "one size fits all" education is not optimal for the majority of children. Schools are failing our children, so why would we take that model home with us in our home learning?
We need to be willing to dig deep and find great courage to jump out of the box a lot farther and to shed layers of belief in this regard if we are going to serve our child's highest experience and for the planet to take a positive evolutionary turn.
To let go of the standard, cookie-cut-out version of learning that schools perpetuate, we must come to understand and be comfortable with the fact that a child may not take off with a particular concept or even an entire learning area for years after her schooled peers. There may be a realm that a child holds very little interest in for the majority of her childhood. Perhaps she'll become interested in said subject at "x" age and then she will experience its gloriousness and discover true love for it - and that age might be 5, 15 or 57. Whatever age that is, when she connects with it intrinsically, it will be of sincere interest to her to learn, love and explore. And the learning can be voracious, covering huge territory in very little time. This is a sure sign that the timing is right for this learner. When learning is unforced and totally natural (full of wonder and curiosity rather than obligation and expectation), this is how learning looks. When the need and interest arises, it will be slurped up like the world's tastiest morsel.
With this type of freedom, we maintain true trust in ourselves as life long learners and will continue scrumptious, soul-nourishing learning, without seeing and end, confidently picking up new endeavours our entire lives.
Oh if i could have been graced with that gift!
Math is often a tough one for parents to release from because we've been so far removed from what natural, wonder-filled math learning can look and feel like. We've been told "math looks like this" and "you must to do it this way to 'get' it" and "this is what you learn, in this order...." If we push this model, we risk corrupting the wonder and beauty that naturally exists in numbers, patterns and relationships that exist all around us. Repetitive work, numbers on a piece of paper with artificial examples, worksheets, textbooks, memorization pertaining often to things we don't even feel connected to.... this method puts the intrinsic love of math at huge risk. Is this something we wish to risk dissolving for the sake of "ensuring" the child is "equipped with certain skills" by some certain age? Or can we trust that the child will become equipped as she sees necessary? Look deeply at your fears and see.... are they really true? Or are you looking through the narrow institutional lens?
When coming from a schooled background and rigid upbringing, it can be quite the road/journey to build deep trust that the passion-led path we are carving as families is a healthy and positive path and the optimal choice for our children, and their children.... optimal for human evolution in general. Do we want to perpetuate the old, narrow, limiting views and experiences of the world? Do we want to keep telling our children "THIS is the way to experience and learn about the world?!"
Finding deep, consistent trust in our children's learning and unfolding is what we aim for. Each time we push our children down a certain path because of our own fears about their potential "inadequacy", we are transmitting those fears along to them. We are undermining their trust in themselves to be capable learning and growing and being unique and radiant in the world.
~ ~ ~
"If those around me don't believe that I am capable of learning something the right way and at the perfect time for me, then how can I trust that I am? " And the child throws away her knowing and trust in herself in exchange for what other people want. And this is what continues to shape our society. We as parents have the opportunity to change this. Go ahead, be courageous out on the Leading Edge!
~ ~ ~
We have assumptions about what things should be learned at what age and in what order. We may feel strongly about "helping along" when we think a certain thing should be happening when it isn't. If we are working with blinders on, viewing our child with institutional eyes and pushing the same standards and ideals that were pushed on us.
From the institutional standards perspective, we tend to try to interfere more, perhaps moving the child in a certain direction or to do something in a certain way before she is ready and in a way that is not optimal for this child. We must become aware that the "one size fits all" education is not optimal for the majority of children. Schools are failing our children, so why would we take that model home with us in our home learning?
We need to be willing to dig deep and find great courage to jump out of the box a lot farther and to shed layers of belief in this regard if we are going to serve our child's highest experience and for the planet to take a positive evolutionary turn.
To let go of the standard, cookie-cut-out version of learning that schools perpetuate, we must come to understand and be comfortable with the fact that a child may not take off with a particular concept or even an entire learning area for years after her schooled peers. There may be a realm that a child holds very little interest in for the majority of her childhood. Perhaps she'll become interested in said subject at "x" age and then she will experience its gloriousness and discover true love for it - and that age might be 5, 15 or 57. Whatever age that is, when she connects with it intrinsically, it will be of sincere interest to her to learn, love and explore. And the learning can be voracious, covering huge territory in very little time. This is a sure sign that the timing is right for this learner. When learning is unforced and totally natural (full of wonder and curiosity rather than obligation and expectation), this is how learning looks. When the need and interest arises, it will be slurped up like the world's tastiest morsel.
With this type of freedom, we maintain true trust in ourselves as life long learners and will continue scrumptious, soul-nourishing learning, without seeing and end, confidently picking up new endeavours our entire lives.
Oh if i could have been graced with that gift!
When coming from a schooled background and rigid upbringing, it can be quite the road/journey to build deep trust that the passion-led path we are carving as families is a healthy and positive path and the optimal choice for our children, and their children.... optimal for human evolution in general. Do we want to perpetuate the old, narrow, limiting views and experiences of the world? Do we want to keep telling our children "THIS is the way to experience and learn about the world?!"
Finding deep, consistent trust in our children's learning and unfolding is what we aim for. Each time we push our children down a certain path because of our own fears about their potential "inadequacy", we are transmitting those fears along to them. We are undermining their trust in themselves to be capable learning and growing and being unique and radiant in the world.
~ ~ ~
"If those around me don't believe that I am capable of learning something the right way and at the perfect time for me, then how can I trust that I am? " And the child throws away her knowing and trust in herself in exchange for what other people want. And this is what continues to shape our society. We as parents have the opportunity to change this. Go ahead, be courageous out on the Leading Edge!
~ ~ ~
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)