What are you Unconsciously Perpetuating?

Our children's innocence and wonder with life is truly mind bloggling.  When we tune-in to their pureness and rapid absorption rate, we can see how we are constantly transmitting beliefs through our words, and even more so, through our actions and ways of being.

Many times on this parenting adventure I have found myself responding to my child "on auto-pilot" -- beliefs, stories and the like rolling off my tongue because they had been told to me as a child, or because I'd heard others saying something similar to their child.  We need to be aware, once we become a part of the "parenting club", of what messages we, as a group/as a society are clinging to and transmitting/perpetuating to the next generation.  It's important to examine whether or not these messages serve us in supporting the conscious evolution of our society or if they are stale beliefs that we may wish to discard.  Once we get to the place of examining our beliefs and how they affect our parenting, we can ask ourselves:  Does this feel good?  Is this really true?  Does it feel authentic? Does it enhance connection with my child or create disconnect?  Does it transmit a message to my child that I would want to see carried on into their futures and into their children's futures? 

It's been amazing to me on this journey to notice how, as I continue to develop a deeper sense of awareness, that it has become easier and easier to identify, break apart and discard the old beliefs and create new, "higher" ones for our family and within in the family groups that we spend time with.

Parents become well-rehearsed in so many of these knee-jerk messages, stale beliefs and unconscious ways of being, to the point that they don't even realize they are transmitting them, painful or otherwise, broken-record-style to their children. There are too many to list - but I'd like to briefly touch upon a few here just to give some examples. This blog will soon include many entries that will examine in greater depth some harder-to-recognize patterns we may be unconsciously perpetuating.

1) Eating.  This one has deep roots for many of us whose caregivers may have pushed the "clean your plate" story upon us.  Today, there is a huge amount of information out there - studies that show that your child knows what foods he needs, and how much, and that physical and psychological problems can result when the parent is controlling food intake. More info in a short video/article > here.

2) Sharing.  Another interesting belief to explore that seems rampantly transmitted at playgroups is forced sharing.  Explore more about this topic> here

3) Manners.  So often you hear a parent parroting:  "What do you say??"  Is the parent actually instilling a sense of gratitude in the child?  More information about how children learn manners > here

4) Sleep.  Many parents think their babies should be "sleeping through the night" by a certain age. Many think the safest place for a newborn is in a crib. Many parents lack compassion when their older child may resist sleeping certain hours, lengths of time, and so on.  There is much information to be explored on these topics, and if we want to provide the most nurturing environment for our children, we owe it to them to not simply follow the norm and to do the research and make the highest choices.

5) School.  Surprisingly, most parents don't even consider whether or not school these days is a healthy place for their child.  Is it really in the best interest of the child emotionally, socially and intellectually to be isolated from their loved ones and community and head into an institution at age 5 or younger?  Is it a healthy choice at any age?  Is school an environment that supports the human race in progressive thinking and ways of being?

6) Time

7) Independence